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Session 90 - Murder of Murderbirds Mean to Murder Murderous Murderer Murderers

So thanks for coming to our housewarming guys! It was mad fun.

Charles' summary of the session to be read as the summary guy in Dragonball Z:
CASE CLOSED ON CSI PENBROOKTONSHIRE. OUR BRAVE HEROES DISCOVERED THE WEDDING MURDERER WAS LITTLE MORE THAN A BUZZ. FROM THE BELLY OF MOBI THE AMOEBA, THAT'S LAST WEEK'S DIGEST. Onward our heroes went to a STRANGE VILLAGE hoping to get some treasure and fame. Little did they know they would end up SLEEPING ON THE JOB. Thankfully the ANGRY BIRDS got more than they bargained for when Jumfrozor PECKED them out of the air!

Bumper bonus GIANT RECAP to make up for lateness and also due to GIANT GROUP. See you next time!
And somebody grab that table before Douche McGee gets it again.



Session 90 - Murder of Murderbirds Mean to Murder Murderous Murderer Murderers


Campaign Date:
Tuesday, 24 December, 1549
Moon Phase: First Quarter
Zodiac: Sagittarius

New Characters:
Brand Earthhammer, a Fighter who left his job as a stevedore to take up his dream job of lanternbearing and watching people get eaten alive.
- Sophia, a former bellringer with a great fear of bells and a talent for Necromancy.

Enemies Defeated:
- 4 Soldiers of Science, iced and shocked and absorbed into a blob (40 exp)
- Several innocents (0 exp)
- Hundreds and hundreds of horrible little red birds (500 exp)
Total: 540 exp

Treasure and Equipment:

- Two freshly printed illuminated bibles, one slightly damaged (800 exp)
- A small wooden statue of St McIver, head worked into a key shape (5 exp)
Total: 805 exp

Exploration:

- First party to find the Grinding Gear, a suspicious abandoned inn (100 exp)
- Explored 8 inn areas (160 exp)
- 1 secret room found (50 exp)
Total: 100 exp

Events:

- Hoping to get to the bottom of the small town murder, the group splits up. (50 exp)
- One group heads to the Knight of Science's commandeered house, finding the confused remains of the Knight of Science's retinue still living there. (50 exp)
- The other group, including Lulu in gypsy garb, heads to the bookbindery where the new Bumblebee Bandit book is being printed. (50 exp)
- On the way, Group One meet Brand Earthhammer who offers to be a lanternbearer for them. (50 exp)

- Group Two tries to gain entry to the bookbindery but is rebuffed. Lulu barges past the servant in the doorway and OH NO THERE'S A GYPSY IN THE BUILDING (50 exp)
- Meanwhile Zan heads down the hill a bit to chat with a local and meets the mysterious Sophia. (50 exp)
- Back with Group One, Jain dresses up in Soldier of Science armour and heads into the house with Stabbington. The priest, questioned about his involvement with the Knight, seems baffled and confused. (50 exp)
- Eleyn, also with group one, sneaks round to the other door and sees the Squire cryiNNiiiiiiiinfhhh(5hhh0exp)hhh
- Eleyn, also with group one, sneaks round to the other door and sees the Squire's empty room, including a locked chest. She and Nora nab it. (50 exp)
- Jain's pretense at being a Soldier of Science is seen through due to her obviously being a Dwarf. The other soldiers, suspecting foul play, try to murder her. (50 exp)- Things have gotten messy back with Group 2. Lulu's horrid kazoo playing allows her to nip into the back room and find all the newly bound Bumblebee Bandit books. (50 exp)
- Charmington has legged it by this point, chased by a small mob. (50 exp)
- Back at the Knight's house, Jain and Stabbington have killed off most of the soldiers. The priest and the last remaining soldier flee. (50 exp)
- Lulu grabs a couple of big illuminated bibles and legs it towards the Knight's house, seeing the fleeing priest and nailing him and his buddy with a thrown bible. They fall. (50 exp)
- Zan, Eleyn and Nora, meanwhile, have dressed in priestly robes and taken the chest to the husband of the deceased's house. (50 exp)
- After questioning the nice-but-slow guy about the murder, somebody finally opens the chest to discover a blood-stained bumblebee bandit costume! The murder was the Squire... who unfortunately died and was eaten some time ago. (50 exp)
- Lulu spares the priest after a moment of GREAT INTENSITY, philanthropically giving him 30 gold pieces to fix up the Church. (50 exp)
- Finally rejoining, the party heads out of town at a fairly rapid pace. Our heroes have significantly increased the number of murders in Pembrooktonshire in their pursuit of justice. (50 exp)
- Deciding to check out Lulu's map, the party travels towards the Grinding Gear, a tavern built by a man with a notoriously complicated attitude towards adventuring types. (50 exp)
- A statue in the middle of the courtyard is surrounded by dead creatures in various states of decay. Mostly goblins, but also wolves and humans, all with ominous puntures in their flesh. (50 exp)
- The chapel is investigated first, clearly heavily looted but dedicated to St McIver, patron saint of blacksmiths, tinkerers and inventors. A wooden statuette and a broken cremation urn are all that remain. (50 exp)
- The stables contain a single very weary and emaciated horse, owner nowhere to be seen. (50 exp)
- The inn itself also seems dilapidated and well-looted. The only thing of real note being a barrel of old food in the pantry and a strange little red bird seen flitting from the roof. (50 exp)
- Further investigations find a torture chamber in the basement. Ominous. (50 exp)
- Lulu decides to investigate the statue and is caught in a blast of sleeping gas when she finds the entrance to the dungeons beneath. She falls into a deep slumber. (50 exp)
- Attracted by the smell of gas, horrible red birds descend from the roof in their hundreds. It's feeding time! (50 exp)
- While Brand the Lanternbearer stands back laughing, the rest of the party rush in to help. (50 exp)
- Most significant contributions are Jumurak with a whirling Magic Missile punch blender, and Eleyn whipping out the flamethrower and setting the hole in the roof where the birds live on fire. (50 exp)
- True to form the inn is now very much on fire. Yet another problem solved through fire! With the birds dead and/or well cooked, the party collects themselves and stands back as the fire climbs merrily higher. (50 exp)
Total: 1450 exp

Misc:

- Absolutely Disgusting bonus (50 exp)
- Balls to the Wall bonus (50 exp)
- Best of Intentions bonus (50 exp)
- Breach and Clear bonus (50 exp)
- Brutal Kill bonus (50 exp)
- Diplomacy bonus (50 exp)
- Dramatic Battle bonus (50 exp)
- Hard Bargain bonus (50 exp)
- Infamy bonus (50 exp)
- Kill It With Fire bonus (50 exp)
- Leave a Man behind bonus (50 exp)
- Michael Bay bonus (50 exp)
- PETA bonus (50 exp)
- Split the Party bonus (50 exp)
- Tactical Fighting bonus (50 exp)
- What Could Possibly Go Wrong bonus (50 exp)
- WWE bonus (50 exp)
- Lulu gave generously (1200 exp)
Total:  850 exp + bonus
Rumours:
-

Death Toll and Injuries:
- None (!?) I'll have to try harder

[[]]

Exp Totals:
Dominic / Sir Stabbington Shanks, Level 6 Fighter: 57491 (Level up at 64000)
-- Dr Charmington, Level 3 Specialist (Quack): 4494 (Level up at 6000)
Ollie / Lulu Spiderbite, Daughter of Lord Gorga, Level 6 Barbarian: 35961 (Level up at 64000)
Kyle / Jain Doe, Level 5 Dwarf: 25444 (Level up at 35200)
Fraser / Jumarak2, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 20196 (Level up at 32000)

Charles / Zan, Spermling of Zea, Level 4 Cleric: 9387 (Level up at 14000)
Tom / Eleyn, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4772 (Level up at 6000)
James / Nora, Level 1 Specialist (Jack of All Trades): 785 (Level up at 1500)

Kitty / Sophia, Level 1 Necromancer: 395 (Level up at 2250)
Steve / Brand Earthhammer, Level 1 Fighter: 395 (Level up at 2000)

Absent or Retired:
Oliver R / Reynard, Level 3 Specialist (Sneak Thief): 4077 (Level up at 6000)Matteo / Lucifer, Level 1 Necromancer: 933 (Level up at 2250)
Ellie / Ellie's Necromancer, Level 1 Necromancer: 744 (Level up at 2250)
Jerry / Jerry's Next Character, Level 1 ???: 200 (Level up at ???)
Daniel / Nash, Level 1 Fighter: 455 (Level up at 2000)
Sarah / Mana, Level 4 Specialist (Thief): 13447 (Level up at 24000)
Jim / Jim's Fighter, Level 1 Fighter: 241 (Level up at 2000)
Louis / Louis' Next Character, Level 1 ???: 2062 (Level up at ???)
Oliver R / Osar, Level 2 Specialist (Dabbler): 661 (Level up at 3000)
Charlie / Le Chaz III, Level 1 Cleric: 670 (Level up at 1750)
David / Theras, Level 5 Specialist (Assassin): 13422 (Level up at 24000)
Mariana / Joe Joe, Level 5 Halfling: 28949 (Level up at 32000)
Dana / Bingo Augustus, Level 5 Muscle Wizard: 19863 (Level up at 36000)
James / Quarion, Level 3 Elf (Gremling): 7947 (Level up at 12000)
Gary / Skirr Abderian, Level 1 Specialist (Thief): 416 (Level up at 1500)
Mariana / Aurora, Level 3 Cleric: 4018 (Level up at 7000)
Wai / Mogwi Stitch-Up, Level 2 Specialist: 2715 (Level up at 3000)
Sam / Lucados Orbrus, Level 2 Fighter: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Clay / Carthas, Level 1 Fighter: 371 (Level up at 2000)
John / West, Level 1 Cleric: 521 (Level up at 1750)
Hayley / Bob, Level 2 Dwarf: 2999 (Level up at 4400)
Niall / Roht, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 722 (Level up at 2250)
??? / Unnamed Cleric of the Garden God, Level 1 Cleric: 0 (Level up at 1750)
Florent / Sir Arthur, Level 1 Fighter: 186 (Level up at 2000)
Jamie / Alden, Level 1 Magic-User: 186 (Level up at 2250)
Ben / Thant, Level 1 Cleric: 186 (Level up at 1750)
Mike / Arran Folynn, Level 1 Specialist (Rogue): 186 (Level up at 1500)
Alex / Arhnin, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1518 (Level up at 3000)
Daniel / Davrak, Level 1 Magic User: 976 (Level up at 2250)
Nuno / Temperion, Level 1 Magic User: 742 (Level up at 2250)
Leo / Leo, Level 4 Cleric: 11102 (Level up at 14000)
Liisa / Peggy Pigrider, Level 5 Dwarf: 19420 (Level up at 35200)
-- Mr Pig, Level 1 Porcine.
Aron / Alphonse the Gentleman Barbarian, Level 1 Barbarian: 1184 (Level up at 2000)
Nimrod / U, Level 2 Specialist (Monk): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
Renzo / (Renzo's next character), Level 2 ???: 3462 (Level up at ???)
Clay / Svalborg, Level 2 Goblin: 2204 (Level up at 4000)
-- Tzani Spillios, Level 0 Scholar
Thomas / Tobias, Level 2 Cleric: 2204 (Level up at 3500)
Josh / Larry, Level 1 Elf (Galumfy Dotard): 383 (Level up at 3000)
Will / Calen, Level 1 Halfling: 1582 (Level up at 2000)
Davide / Golden Junk, Level 1 Elf (Misergeist): 1971 (Level up at 3000)
Pedro / Dexter, Level 1 Necromancer: 1460 (Level up at 2250)
Mark / Marley, Level 2 Specialist: 2850 (Level up at 3000)
Rita / Arwen, Level 1 Elf (Sloomit Waghorn): 643 (Level up at 3000)
Sophia / Ceres, Level 1 Elf (Hollowback Ylfen): 1487 (Level up at 3000)
Alex / Tick, Level 1 Goblin: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Oliver / Pip, Level 1 Halfling: 731 (Level up at 2000)
Ej / Matilda, Level 2 Specialist: 1839 (Level up at 3000)
Sev / Brad the Stabbinator, Level 1 Fighter: 1871 (Level up at 2000)
Harry / Reg, Level 1 Dwarf: 150 (Level up at 2200)
Mike / Lootle Halfstack, Level 1 Specialist: 715 (Level up at 1500)
Aaron / Maura, Level 1 Halfling: 1637 (Level up at 2000)
Matt / Sheik, Level 1 Barbarian: 767 (Level up at 2000)
Shaun / Nagash, Level 1 Necromancer: 817 (Level up at 2250)
rhhjdghjdshgjbleeeh / Elric, Level 1 Cleric: 817 (Level up at 1750)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 12881 (Level up at 18000)
Pawel / Devein, Level 1 Dwarf: 1160 (Level up at 2200)
Marco / Sauron, Level 1 Necromancer: 1530 (Level up at 2250)
Tom / NWA Chuck Langley, Level 1 Cleric: 951 (Level up at 1750)
Ros / Rhea, Level 1 Elf (Capriped): 850 (Level up at 3000)
John / Level 1 Magic-User: 1500 (Level up at 2000)
Chris / Crocell, Level 4 Halfling: 12318 (Level up at 16000)
-- Belial, Level 1 Fighter: 1047 (Level up at 2000)
Michael / Mist Urmun, Level 4 Magic User: 9129 (Level up at 18000)
Renzo / Gastani, Level 2 Barbarian: 3000 (Level up at 4000)
Chris2 / Gadling, Level 3 Specialist (Assassin): 4738 (Level up at 6000)
Joanna / Artemis, Level 2 Specialist (Healer): 2250 (Level up at 3000)
George / Magnus, Level 1 Cleric: 1342 (Level up at 1750)
Lisa / Bella, Level 1 Magic User: 1951 (Level up at 2250)
Jacob / Wizard Khalifa, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 430 (Level up at 2250)
Marius' Totally-Not-Necromancer, Level 3 Necromancer: 5111 (Level up at 9000)
Nadav / Frog, Level 1 Fighter: 732 (Level up at 2000)
Charlie / Losh, Level 1 Elf (Habberjock): 309 (Level up at 3000)
Jack / Uldric, Level 1 Magic User: 409 (Level up at 2250)
Kate / Khaleesi, Level 1 Muscle Wizard: 37 (Level up at 2250)
Emmi / Lyrel, Level 2 Necromancer: 2891 (Level up at 4500)
--- Schmidt, Level 0 Human

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